say what..?

February 16, 2009 § Leave a comment

He’s kidding right? Srsly.
I found the clip at Atheism media blog.


Starting all over

January 26, 2009 § 2 Comments

varIt’s monday morning and in my head I can hear Nico and Velvet Underground sing, even though I’m trying to turn it off. This is the day to start over, not a day for dwelling in nostalgia angst. I finished all my left over work for school last week and it feels good to be free. I spent the weekend marvelling at the fact that I didn’t have to do anything. Such a great feeling.

Two days in Skurup did wonders for my motivation and go get-attitude, which was down on crawl try by now. I still have things that needs to be finished if I’m ever gonna be able to get out of this country, but right now I’m gonna take a week and just take care of myself. You know, Try to back away from panic mode. I’m a bit too close to the famous wall, it’s not so much about not running into it as it is about not repeatedly banging my head to it.

To hear Ida Börjel talk about her latest book was great, mostly because she does a lot of research for her poetry, and I can see my own mind in hers in a way. At least it feels like I can recognize and see myself in the level of nerdiness. It was really inspiring. Just like so many other things. Just to talk to the others about writing, about working with this, about being what is essentially me. That is what I am, a writer. It is how I recognize myself, I write, it’s what I do, how I breath and live.

I gained a lot of energy during those two days, and spring is probably coming soon, so I decided to make some changes, or at least try. I bought a printer (and copymachine, and scanner, it gives me megalomanian fantasies about scanning everything in the whole world muahahaha. etc.) so I can print out the whole manuscript and take a closer look at it. It’s time soon to start to look at problems with the storyline, is it too tangled? Selfcontradicting? So on. I’m going to try, for the hunnert and fourth time in my life, to get som structure.
Also I went on a walk this morning. I’m going to try at least this week, to go for three walks. Just this week first. Small small tiny steps at a time. The only functioning way to change your life.

It never works to say “I’m gonna start working out five times a week, 2 hours every time, and I’m gonna stop eating anything at all except green vegetables!”. If it does work, you should probably visit a psychiatrist and not a gym.

Having made this small changes, like taking a walk, eating a good healthy breakfast, buying a much needed printer, entitles me to do one very ritual thing. I’m buying a new notebook. This is something I always do when I change my life to the better. I buy notebooks, and a new pen. So when I’ve finished writing this, I’m gonna go downtown and buy a notebook and a pen, a design magazine (yeah, I’m pampering myself). And then I’m gonna kick start this week by printing all the 90 pages.


New life, new energy and new hairstyle.

sunlight and cameras

January 16, 2009 § 1 Comment

Mim and Lis

Ok,  I miss you girls. I miss you, your cats and your company.

Why does all my best ones live so far away? It’s not fair that you live all the way up in Ume, and Fisk all the way over in Oslo. Not fair I tell you.

I had written a long tirad on how much I hate chavs and woo-girls, but it got lost. If there is something I hate, it’s having to textually repeat myself.

That’s one reason why I have such a hard time working with critique. Often I feel I’m done with the text already when I hand it in for a critique, and end up not having any use of what has been said whatsoever. For me, the dialogue is a better form when working with text, to talk about it rather then just hear the inputs. I often get all nervous and giddy anyway, and it’s good to work in a way that lets me actually talk during the session.

To find the form of critique thats suits yourself and your text the best isn’t the easiest, and to give critique isn’t easy either. To remember to talk about things in terms of own experience, not “when you wrote this, i felt that” but “when the text is like this, i read it into this feeling”. It’s important to remember that the critique you give isn’t made for you, but for the author. You might dislike the text or want to praise it, but that’s not the point. You have to find a way of giving critique the author has use for, a text made for hers purposes.

The hardest part is quite often to find  a way into the text, I know I’ve sat many times with text that are as readable as a pile of old socks,wondering how I ever is going to be able to say something constructive about it. But there are ways, and rule is off course: Keep reading. Re-read until you find the way in, because it is there. It will come to you if you just keep focusing and working with the text and really try to put a side your own feelings for the text. It’s a luxury to be able to do like you do with a book, you know, read it once or not even that and then just put it away. A text that isn’t finished yet, maybe just an embryo of a text needs a lot more reading and focusing.

I’m getting better at this stuff, but I want to get better still. I have two texts today to give critique on, and it’s always a test. I have a friend as well who wanted tips on how to critique a manuscript that was complete crap. Yeah, how do you do that? Does anyone know? I have to say it’s one of the trickiest.

It’s time for camera and sunlight now.

First try

January 11, 2009 § Leave a comment

1-3 testing.

Did you know that the hard core homophobic rastas don’t say 1-2-3 testing any more, since 2 is connected to nbr 2, which could mean anal sex. I wonder how math class works.
“So, peter, can you tell us what this is?”
“Eh, 5 – 3 is 1 and 1 together.”

For some reason I seem to have started hangin out with people who likes to flaunt their stupidity (christians) lately. I find it seriously freaky, people with otherwhise big hearts and functioning brains, suddenly turns up to believe in supernatural occurences with the comment of “there are somethings that we just can’t explain with science.”. Ok, first of all: yes we can. And second: That science might not know exactly why hypnapomp hallucinations look or feel like they do, that doesn’t mean that your little theory about fairies trying to kill you in your sleep is correct.

Just because science can’t yet show us what was before time, that doesn’t mean that there is room for a God. All it means is that we don’t know.

Now, where is the connection between this and the 1-3? Well, most of these people are rastas or similar. For me, the whole rastafarian I and I Jah bless blahblah thing was something that happened when I was 17 yrs old and smoked too much weed. Now, when grown up and hanging out at reaggeclubs, I tend to forget that there is people who takes the whole thing seriously.
It’s like Harry Potter. I mean, I like the books and all: but I tend to forget that there is heaps of people out there who thinks magic is real and uses the books to prove it. (Is there? I’m not sure, I’m assuming on the basis of the fact that people are what they are.)

Today will be one of those lovely work my ass off-days. I have a book to read by Maryse Condé, a review to write, two critiques and some stuff on Ida Börjel. Great. This is what happens when you have a crap autumn. Things pile up. Big time.
Tonight is dancing in Lund too, first time this semester. It’s good to get going again, I need to shake away that extra kilo that sneaked up on me during christmas and attached itself to my chin and thighs.

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