The importance of not ever shutting up

February 11, 2009 § Leave a comment

I just listened to a radio documentary about Fadime, a young kurdish woman who got killed by her father in 2002 for having a relationship with a swedish man, and for refusing to obey the family. Before her, Pela and Sara were the most wellknown Honor Crimes in Sweden. The UN estimates that about 5000 women die every year around the world at the hands of their male relatives for “bringing shame” over the family. This is often sanctioned by the mothers or matriarchs in the family, either because they agree that the woman is the property of the men, or in cold calculation to clean the families reputation and make it easier to marry off the other daughters.

On gendercide you can read this about the reasons:
“…Such “immoral behavior” may take the form of marital infidelity, refusing to submit to an arranged marriage, demanding a divorce, flirting with or receiving phone calls from men, failing to serve a meal on time, or — grotesquely — “allowing herself” to be raped. In the Turkish province of Sanliurfa, one young woman’s “throat was slit in the town square because a love ballad was dedicated to her over the radio.” (Pelin Turgut, “‘Honour’ Killings Still Plague Turkish Province,” The Toronto Star, May 14, 1998.)”

This is, pardon my language, fucking silly. How the hell did some parts of the world become so fucking backwards, behaving like that? How how how? And then comes the next question. When moving to new countries, why do people always bring the worst of their own with them. You’d think this is one of the things that would go away with the next generation, that they would be more ready to intergrate in the new society, but no. It’s the opposite. Conservative views are often stronger in the second generation, amongst the males, then in the first. Why? I don’t know, but I think it has to do with conflict between sexuality and culture. They are taught to think of for example swedish girls as whores, and think of everything outside their own culture as not good enough, and when then feeling tempted by it, they probably cast it away as the devils work and even more evil to protect themselves from having to go through the rebellion against their own.
This is just a theory. Or it could be that some men turn their sons into misogynistic assholes, without any reason at all.

I don’t know witch it is. I probably will never know. But I do know that I can’t stand this and that something has to be done. Some sort of education when you get inside the country. Some way of teaching the women their rights, and teaching the men the same. Some way of stopping all that hate people bring with them. I get highly insulted everytime I read how people from other cultures (mostly muslim) calls me and everyone I know whores and infidels. If we now are so horribly bad, please explain why you moved here to begin with? There was once this young guy who was a fundie muslim who got a lot of space in media for (well.. for being a complete wanker more or less. But he was also doing some work with a cellar mosk, and a youth group there with fundie level stuff going on.) something I can’t really remember, I think it was about islamic culture and so on, and he complained and complained and complained about how horrible this country was, how bad everything swedish was, how we all should burn in eternal damnation (or whatever it is infidels do after this life) and how much he hated us. He talked about the horror of having to hear music when downtown (this seems to be forbidden, the only he was allowed to listen to was quran readings), having to avert his eyes from all this women who didn’t cover themselfs properly the whores, everything was just bad. After a while I guess the reporter got tired of listening, and asked him very politely but yet curiously: So why don’t you move back home then?

The magic, forbidden question. It is. Because it’s the epitome of racism.

I don’t remember the answer, but it was something along the lines of “well, I gotta finish school first, and then I’m gonna work with my cousin for a while and then I’m moving yeah.”. Although he and his friends found it problematic to be in school since they thought them heretic things like evolution, or that the world is round or whatever it is they are so opposed to. Intelligent falling is probably prefered aswell.I can’t respect this people. I can’t. I cannot show anymore respect for muslims who don’t want to hear music in the mall, then I have for christian fundies. But it’s more ok to critizes th xtians, since they are thought of as part of “white” culture. But this is just some sort of weird tweeked racism. If we were truly equal, we would be equally critized as well.

You all know I’m pro more immigration and proper integration. But this guy I think was over the line. So’re all the families with deep hate and prejudice about the swedish society. I can understand that it’s scary to move and traumatizing and all that, but I’m really tired of having those wankers to teenage boys call after me that I’m a whore, and that they’ll rape me analy and all that they say just because I’m swedish when I walk outside (yes, if I walk outside after dark, this happens). When will the parents step up to it and actually raise their sons to real people instead of idiots?

A couple of months ago there was a young girl (around 21 years old) who got beaten down by 20 guys because she told them to shut up when they screamed svennehora (swedish whore) after her. They kicked her in the face, and laughed about it. Luckily for her there was six other guys on their way home that run to her aid. I know the paper didn’t write it in clear text, that the guys kicking was all from another ethnical background then swedish, and I know why it wasn’t written, it’s not fun to be the racist. Well, this isn’t about that. It’s about the fact that these guys have been allowed by their parents and their community, by their context, to grow up and become more or less monsters. I don’t care if they are swedish or arabs, marsians or russians, they are still horrible. Now they just happen to not be swedish, and be from cultures that promoters violent behavior against women.

Yeah. I did say that. Promotes violent behavior against women. Look at Fadime, Pela, Sara. They weren’t a single isolated incident. They are symptoms of a sick culture, as these violent young men are. We have to find a way of stopping that. We have to find a way of stopping this hate of women. Misogyny has to be eliminated, otherwhise I’ll still have to stand having students sometimes asking me why I live alone, why I’m not married, why I’m not a respectful woman yet. I’ll have to stand being called a whore. I’ll have to stand reading articles about girls who die because they go against the rules, or because they get raped. I’ll have to stand reading about how men encourage their sons to hit the daughters, because if they get caught, the punishment is less harsch.

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