Odin? Why not.
February 7, 2009 § Leave a comment
I remember when I was around eight years old and had learned about the old norse mythology in school. Our teacher was a christian, so she tried to make us that too.. But she was ill for a week, and Marie, a young woman, was filling in. She told us about other religions, and also said that you can believe what you want to, and that there are religions nobody believes in anymore.
That afternoon I was out walking with my mom, and we talked about life and death and what happens next, and I remember saying that I thought that Valhalla was more plausible then heaven, it sounded more interesting. Also I know I wondered how people knew they were right. How did people know that it was Jesus who was the thing, and not Thor or Freja, or Odin? Or Ra, maybe, or Papa Legba. How did they know? And I think my mum said something like “well, you can choose to believe what feels right for you”, which set me off in a three week hardcore old norse propaganding.
When I was ten a friend of mine and her family got swooped up in the evangelistic church (they are cult like and creepy here.. ) called “the fellowship” or “the communion” or something. A very scary one, she took me to church and I remember being really frightened and also sceptical about all these grown ups sitting around singing strange songs and smiling in a way that looked like they were high or drunk. Why would grown ups do that? Her mother told me off after I talked about Yoga when we had dinner one day, she said that “yoga is evil, and it’s a way that indian people use to prepare to die without coming to Jesus”. I got angry, but didn’t say much.
I lost my last drop of hopes for anything at all during those three weeks of pagan propaganda. I asked my brother what he thought, stating that I’d like an eight legged horse when I die, and a small squirrel, much rather then going to heaven. He looked me dead in the eye and said “when you die, you rot in the ground. Maggots eat you. That’s it.”. I know I was angry with him for telling me off, I liked my fantasies about Valhalla, but somewhere deep down, I knew he was right.
For a short while I was really angry with the world, for robbing me of that hope for something else. Angry that the world was so logical I suppose. But I got over it. I even got used to advanced double think that I used until my late teens, to allow for things like ouija boards or reading horoscopes and believing in them, fully aware that it was just bull shit. But it was bull shit I needed.